catching up..

Wow it has been so long. I always hate when bloggers, who I love reading thier blogs, stop blogging what is happening. So here is the deal. I thought September was going to be the time that I slowed down at work but actually that is not happening. You all know that I stopped working on one of our construction sites, luxury condominiums that we are developing, and now I am up at corporate about two or three days a week in meetings for part of the day. There is a part of me who loves it-being in commercial real estate around a bunch of men who all cut each other off, and there is another part of me that is sooooooooooooooooooooooo tired. I do well with these types of men and I almost feel like it gives me the chance to say my point even louder (Thank you to the corporate commercial boiler room that I used to work in and that really helped me to develop these skills.) So it is a catch 22. Bottomn line I am grateful for a few reasons.

1. I started thinking too much about the baby and reading books and so on.
2. I started feeling like my only biz partners were my dogs, Stan and Esther, and my un born son who was vice president of the company.
3. I started thinking about things that are none of my business.

So with all of these..let's just say that life is better this way. It is hard not to have fear about the baby coming and because men and women think so differently, well let's just say my hubby (my best friend and partner) and I do not get the same anxieties. Most Men are linear and with that..they do flight or flight in the momment, while most women (ME) do flight or flight when our head is thinking of any momment of time in my HEAD. And with hormones (yes, I give props to all women who have gobe through pregnancy or menopause), well let's just say that it is a whole different level.

Well holidays are coming up and they have always been hard for me.

1. My dad is a rabbi and was at one time in my life but is not anymore so Jewish holidays can be tough.
Then there is alwaysn an X factor that can make them even more stressful.

But I am trying to just show up for my family and my in laws as Rachel and not preforming Rachel so that I can enjoy these blessings. I think it is also hard when we mesh families. I am very lucky for my in laws but I get my nutty family and "getting" another family can be tough.

So what is happening with the pregnancy. We started birthing class and it is going well. Scott saw a video of a birth (thank God) I am not going to be the first. And he did not die. I have tons of indigestion and I sm started to feel hot all of the time. But life is good. I have realized that you can read books, talk to people, surf the NET, but every birth is different and every baby is different. It is almost like when you get older and oneday, you realize that actually life is about admitting that you just don't know.

Love you lil one.